One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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