When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
