Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
