Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
