It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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