I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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