All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
