He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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