I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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