dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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