Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
