Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
