I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My pussy is not your playground.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
