He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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