she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
