i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
