2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
