I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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