I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
