Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
