I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
