dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize