obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
