I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
