Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
