we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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