I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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