Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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