Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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