Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
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A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize