Don't make out with my wife yet
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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