i would punch a child for taco bell
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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