I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
okay pat passed out under dana's car
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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