we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
