I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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