Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
