I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I could fuck to npr.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
