You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
