do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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