took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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