Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize