3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the day after is always just damage control
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
