You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We left the knife in your bed.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
