Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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