In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What a dumb baby whore.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize