you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
