Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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