that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
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