is your mom at the bar?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
