were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
