Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize