I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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