I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
