oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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