will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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