Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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