real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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