I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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