3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
