He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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