Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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