Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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