Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
