is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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