I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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