This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
